Having a partner that is unwilling or doesn’t know how to communicate is extremely difficult.
It took me a few years to debunk my fiance. I can’t be sure why and it doesn’t matter. It’s about what I am willing to do to make it easier for him.
I first spent time with myself, understanding what I want out of the daily things and the overall in our relationship. Why was this important to me? Because if I didn’t know what made me happy, sad, annoyed and angry how could I expect him to?
When something came up that we needed to talk about it was always me saying “you’ve upset me”, “you should understand how it makes me feel” and so on. We all do it.
After learning about myself I could go to him and say “when you did this it made me feel…”, “I feel like … when you expected me to … and i don’t understand what you want from me”
You cannot expect your partner to just guess your thoughts and emotions.
For my relationship after I tried our conversations this way he understood what I needed from him, which was more detail. He started to respond with “I need more time with you”,”you do … when I talk to you and it makes me feel like you’re not listening” and I go back with “I didn’t realise you took it that way, it means … for me. I will try to adjust this so you can understand me and vice versa.”
Without giving you the exact details of the situation this was a real conversation between us. Every time we need to talk one of us will start with “I need your attention for 5 minutes. Do you mind turning the tv off or on mute, look at me and respond if you want to.” LITERALLY EVERY TIME!!
We make sure the other gets to speak and then we respond with how we feel or need or want. It sounds so kindy school but it is that easy. We are taught this at a very young age.
Communicating is not rocket science, simply respect and learn from each other. Be true to yourself and to your partner.
I understand some people it is not as simple as you sitting down with them and talking. It takes some people a lot longer. If you feel you have tried your absolute hardest and they are completely unwilling I would suggest a councilor that can maybe teach them how to communicate or how to reach the understanding of their own feelings.
This is something I have a great amount of interest in and maybe I will find myself down that path to become a professional.
This can also be applied to friendships and family members. My best friend and I have been this way since we were 3 years old and still talk to one another this way. Undivided attention and respect to speak freely offering advice where we can a whole lot of support.
I hope I have helped or provided some insight into this area.
Thank you for stopping by.